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i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink at night.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
No matter what`s happening there`s always part of me that would rather be taking a nap or drinking.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
Sneezing when you pee is only recommended when you`re in a public toilet.