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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you’re a terrible person and had it coming.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
There’s a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost exactly the same.
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
I wish bedtime was all the time.
Check this one out.........1
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle