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If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.