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Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE” !! I’m happy to report that I succeeded…