Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a time machine, I’d probably just use it so I wouldn’t have to throw out so many bananas.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. . . . well. . . she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.