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If you just got invited to do something on New Year`s Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
why me is me ?
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
I just blew all my party money on bills again
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn’t that funny anyway.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.