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I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
I am not bossy, I just know how to do things the right way.
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isnβt counting calories.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, Iβll be there.
Admit it, weβve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
Sometimes I feel happy, but then the Oreos run out.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.