Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
Much of my life is a contest to see which of the voices in my head can say the funniest stuff.
The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
The first sign of laziness:
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $2.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.