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At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
Walmart needs observation decks.
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
Folgers got it wrong. The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.