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When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.