Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
My fake plant died because I didn`t pretend to water it
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
You`ve got to be twins. You`re too stupid to be one person.
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
Buying your wife a gun is like saying. "You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise."
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.