Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
So my friend is mad at me because I slept with her ex. Her instructions were very clear when they broke up, she said "F*ck that guy!"
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Got kicked out of the local casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
Dear liver…. Here is an advance sorry for tonight… sincerely Jimmy…
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman`s home.
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
I`m so deep in the friendzone that I`ve met her boyfriends parents
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.