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All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.