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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...