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Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
I had cheese, but no crackers ... I was cracka-lackin
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
Stealing other people`s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.
I just ran a .003048K
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.