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This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working
I almost got raped in jail last night. My family takes Monopoly very seriously.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
When your kids become teenagers, it`s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.
More people should be at a loss for words.
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
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