Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend called me up and said "Come on over to my place. No one`s home!" I went over. No one was home.
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
I’m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.