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Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars.
If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
Just stepped outside, closed my eyes, took a deep breathe of fresh air, sipped a Dew. What a perfect morning, what could go wrong? Crap I forgot 2 put pants on!
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
I`m not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Holidays, hotels and women. Three things that always look better online than in real life.
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.