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I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I`m seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe.
Own the day
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
Facebook, the lost and found for people. . .
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."