Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
No one is as ugly as their driver`s license, and nobody is attractive as their profile picture.
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?