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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
If running late counted as exercise I would be the healthiest motherf*cker you ever saw
Remind me why I work 40 hours a week to be this poor?
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)