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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
Your things are terrific.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
i like boobs