Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
A good way to break up with a girl gently, is to curtsy when you`re meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.