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I am so deep in the friendzone I have been introduced to her boyfriend`s parents.
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Wanna come over for pizza and sex? I`m just kidding ... there`s no pizza.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
Those days where you don`t take anyone`s sh!t ... Yeah, today is one of those days.
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.