Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
I stopped going to AA because all of their stories were about how they hit rock bottom by waking up next to me.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
When life gives you lemons... all you need is tequila (and salt).
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted