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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m like a kid in a candy store. I can`t afford anything.
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.
Psychology β€” Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the β€˜fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
wants to rock and roll all night
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!