Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
I once peed a girl`s name in the snow, so don`t fcuking tell me I don`t know romance.
As I get older my tastes are changing, for instance I used to not like brussels sprouts but now I don`t like people.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.