Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The black sheep always have the best stories.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
The secret to success is in my bra.
Life is like toilet paper....either you`re on a roll....or you`re taking sh*t from some asshole
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasnβt talking about sneezing.
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
Requesting a table in the βHot Waitressβ section should be socially acceptable.
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.