Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
It´s never to late to be happy
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!