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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
All women are bad for me. At least that`s what my wife says.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.