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I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
You`d think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now.
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
With all the potato chip flavors available now, I see no point in buying actual food...
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.