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I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
My favorite word is `apparently`. Makes anything sound sarcastic. He`s intelligent, apparently.
There`s only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.