Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
"Goodbye, everyone. I`ll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Apparently, "Giant ones" is not the appropriate response to the question, "What are the steps you would take in the event of an emergency?"
I get very annoyed when people mix up there, they`re and their. From now on I`m going to point it out, weather they like it or not.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!