Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
Being a man in biblical times must’ve been hard. You’re busy then your wife says, “Someone parted the Red Sea & you’re here watching sheep.”
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
Trust me... You don`t want my undivided attention.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store