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You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
My neighbors don`t appreciate it when I skip along the property line, singing "This Land is My Land."
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
If we could master the look dogs have when we’re eating in front of them, we’d be able to have sex with any woman at will.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
Don`t send me a ;) face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.