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Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 years now.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.