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I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
I`ve been baptized five times this week in five different churches. I wish the landlord would hurry up and fix my shower.
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
I sent off for some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over.
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.