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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I`ll be notified immediately.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
And by "whatever" I mean f*ck you.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
Damn, it`s like these people have never seen anyone bring a flask to the gym before.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle “65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…