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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you`re the worst employee at a toy factory
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.