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If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.
Buys Mega-Millions ticket. Has a better chance of being hit by lightning in a cave.
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.