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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky
My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
Trying to untwist a twizzler is a real b*tch and this gas station cashier yelling at me isn`t helping.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.