Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
Sometimes I take a bath because it’s hard to drink wine in the shower.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
I`m not sure who`s more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?