Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
Dear person reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
He won`t let me complain to the neighbors, so I renamed the WiFi to `SHUT YOUR DOG UP, D!CKS`
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It`s people I don`t trust.