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In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
This patience thing takes forever.
The worst thing about finding out Santa isn`t real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.