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Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
Writing "Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
My online dating profile is just a picture of my ex-wife and the words "NOT THIS."
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
The grass is always greener where the bodies are buried.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.