Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
is "insert clever remark here."
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought regular donuts.
My wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can`t see the mailbox when she`s backing up?
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh!t.
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.