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My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.
Even though I`m a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
keep scrolling I`ve got nothing....
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?