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I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
I spend the first half of work fantasizing about all the different places I could go for lunch.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling