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Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "Oh dear, this is going to take more than one night."
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.
I`ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.