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If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it`s because they`ve just killed someone right?
Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
I never thought Iād be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
I just threw up my weekend.
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.