Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
My kid’s teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I’m like I do. I’m player 2.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don`t get married. If you are over 35, don`t get married. If you are 35, don`t get married.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
If at first you don’t succeed, you shouldn’t diffuse bombs.