Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
I’d like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.