Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
No great story started with someone drinking water.
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers