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Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
Please don`t wear skinny jeans if you don`t have skinny genes.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus.
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
why we do not have a romance class...............
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.