Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?
What do I look for in a girl? Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.