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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?