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My New Years resolutions are just a list of mixed drinks I haven`t tried yet.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
PRO TIP: If you see a woman crying, never ask if its because of her hair.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....