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some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
Every new day means new opportunities... to make mistakes and f*ck things up.
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
A hypnotist is just someone that tries to roofie you with jazz hands.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?