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I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
At 4-way stop, the first person to finish their text has the right of way right?
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
Iām just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.
Bad decisions make good stories.