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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!