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Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact & hope it goes away.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...